1) I do not have an empty mind. Because I benefited from a classical education, I can speak intelligently on multiple subjects relating to literature, history and art. I am well spoken and I enunciate all my words (It's mirror you prole, not meer).
2) I have never cheated on anyone. I've had opportunities, but I'm just not that guy.
3) I'm pretty decent looking. Not drop-dead, movie star handsome I admit, but I'm no troll either.
4) Financially, I'm ok.
5) My seductive way with words.
Spiny Norman: It's a beautiful night for a stroll on the beach, is it not?
Wife: I guess…
Spiny Norman: You know, I've always loved the way the sunset plays with your hair, like burning embers glowing gold. I noticed that about your hair the first time we cuddled by the fireplace, but here the light makes it seem more radiant. Everything on this beach reminds me of you. See this bit of coral here? This shade of green matches your eyes exactly.
Wife: My eyes are blue.
Spiny Norman: Look at this conch shell. The inside has that intimate shade of pink just like your vulva. Incidentally, I think it's time for the HMS Meat-hammer to set sail to Vagina Island.
Wife: Charming. Are you done with your maritime spiel yet?
Spiny Norman: Methinks the voyage will be rough and wet.
Wife: Ok, just stop.