Last night I got drunk at my local bar and this suspicious looking black dude came into the bar with an expensive looking camera case. He had a scowl on his face the whole time and might have been a muslim. When he left, he "forgot" his camera case. Thinking it might be a bomb, I finished my beer and got the hell out of there.
Sometimes if I see a group of black kids coming my way I cross the street. It really depends on how they dress like if they're wearing their pants under their butt cheeks or if their baseball caps are on sideways.
Masturbating — Hard to do if I think that ghosts or dead relatives are watching me. Also, pictures of family must be turned around because I think they're watching me (they are).
My wife occasionally goes to a "book club." I've often suspected that she's cheating on me. A couple of times I've confirmed her whereabouts which made me feel ridiculous afterwards.
Tell me about your paranoids.
