Hey you cunts, sometimes it's ok to rehash a topic to get the forum back to its fucking roots (pronounced 'reuts').
So here's my confession:
I've been a longtime proponent of 2-ply TP. Like i hated single ply seriously to the point that i would deliberately waste the toilet paper of establisments that cheaped out on the crackwipe. We're not talking a one-time deal here. This was an ongoing campaign beginning in my mid-twenties until just this past year.
So i've been poor lately. Not just poor, but, like, dirt poor. And not a rich, soil kinda dirt either. Like dustbowl dirt. Anyway, there came a time a few months back where i had to make some hard choices, and one of those choices was a down-step on my TP quality. I know....i know....of all the things to compromise on, right? But i did it, and i have to accept that. Thing is, my options on this fulcrum day hinged on a food/tp axis. Again, it was dire. So, i went with the bottom of the barrel. the cheapest of the cheap. well, not quite, but pretty much. I went with Scott single-ply 1000 sheet/roll for 3.89 for 4 rolls.
So, i have had access to higher-quality paper since then but i have come to appreciate the particular strength of GRIP that Scott provides. When you're done with a few swipes of Scott Single-Ply 1000 sheet/roll, man, you KNOW what just happened. I think part of my affinity for the product comes from the ever-increasing softness of the higher-priced brands. I do appreciate a bit of quilting, don't get me wrong, but a slick paper does not serve the proper purpose. What the fuck do i care about ABSORBency?? I shit chunks of meat and whole corn cobs, man. what the fuck is there to absorb??? And don't get me fucking started on aloe/vitamin E/oatbran/tofu infused TP. FUCK that shit. You 'spect me to walk away with a greezy butt? Srsly? Fuck, man, the first time i used that shit i had to take a shower to wash off the fucking 'clean.' and to top it off, it makes you smell like a fucking tampon.
When you are finished wiping with a Scott single-ply 1000 sheet/roll, those buttcheeks clamp together with a virgin seal (well, mine anyway...). Them shits don't slip a millimeter. There is no "did i miss a spot?" Fuck no there isn't. every part of your crack knows that it was touched by something. Fuckin' A.
Scott single-ply 1000 sheet/roll 4 eva.
that's just my rant. feel free to talk about whatever. i particularly enjoy your garmonbozia, but i'll take whats i can gets.
